*Jonny's note:

Hi there. I can't really imagine what someone could get me for my 27th birthday that I really need. My life is pretty simple; I can only read one book at a time, and I already have a Netflix account.

Sadly, there are a ton of people in this world that don't have clean water, which sounds like a cliched, preachy way of making privileged people feel bad (and it kind of is), but it's also a real thing. Those people usually live long enough to realize that they will die if they don't get clean water, and then they die from not getting clean water. That's blunt, and harsh, and a somewhat insensitive way of putting it, but it's true.

On the flip side, I've taken some excessively long showers when I've been hungover, and if there's any causality involved in that it's pretty horrible.

So it'd be a nice thing if we helped some of those people. From my research, this site is great b/c the money you donate will go directly to giving a person water. X amount of $ = Y amount of water for Person Z. (or something). None of your money will go to the company's payroll or anything like that. Peruse the website and you'll learn a lot of cool stuff.

Here's the way I look at it: If you happened to run into me on the night of my birthday you would probably buy me a beer because you're nice and fun and that's something nice/fun people do for people on their 27th birthday. But don't do that, even if you do run into me. Just give at least $5 to this campaign, and I'll do my best to make poor decisions of my own accord, sober or not.

Much like buying me a beer on my b-day, if you saw a child who might not make it to his/her next birthday you would probably shell out more than $5 to help keep him/her alive. So feel free to donate as much as you can because that kind of impact is not unrealistic.

If you donate $50 or more I'll write and publish at least 400 words about pretty much anything you want. Would you like:

-Fanfic about you, Dion Waiters, and JR Smith solving crimes?

-A semi-exhaustive breakdown of the "I like turtles" youtube video?

-A sincere explanation of what I appreciate about you as a person? (If I don't know you, this will be largely fictional, but hopefully still make you feel good).

-A list of excuses for why I didn't talk to the cute girl sitting across from me at Starbucks as I'm writing this?

-Anything else?

Guys, if you're still reading this, help out if you can. I know money's tight what with the economy, and The Big Short, and surging Uber fares, and a bunch of other things I only vaguely understand. So if you can't make it work I won't hold it against you. But we can actually help people. Solving the water crisis isn't a lost cause, it's a thing that can actually happen if we care enough to try.

I don't care about a fundraising goal. I'm just going to send some money over there and it would be really exciting if you helped.